I'm on Medicine at the VA right now. The people are great -- I love the patients; I love the MDs. But I am miserable. Medicine just isn't for me. Period. End of story. The problem is that, like Gyn Onc, it gets to me and gets to me pretty bad. I work hard, day in and day out, and leave tired, exhausted, and depressed. All I see is old age, chronic disease, demented patients with delusions of grandeur. Don't get me wrong -- like I said, I love the patients -- they are all cool -- but I can't deal with the nauseating feeling I leave with every day when I go home hoping that, when I come back the next day, my patients will still be alive.

I think I would be in the depths of depression if it weren't for the other med studs I'm working with. They make me laugh. I am in total awe of how kind, how caring, how hard working they are. They are going to be great doctors.

So in other news:
--> I'm taking a year "off" to , well, to travel, to figure things out, to live, love and otherwise be 23.

--> I'm going into Surgery. Or Emergency Medicine.

--> I refuse to date residents or other medical students. They are all nice, and super sweet. But, gawd. They drive me crazy at the end of the day!

--> My goal in life is to be a college/university professor ... long term. I want to teach undergraduates about social/health inequalities. I want to inspire people to live like heros. I want to be a heroine. In the mean time, I just want to be a ridiculously great doctor.