I appear to have some major cognitive distortions with regards to my self-image. I always thought of myself as a shy, socially-inept, and awkward girl. The psychiatrists I work with, however, are generally dumbfounded by this image because, well, I guess I don't come off as shy, socially-inept, and awkward. I dunno. Maybe I've changed without realizing it. I certainly don't feel like I'm "acting" or pretending to be someone I am not. In fact, for the first time in my life, I feel entirely comfertable being myself while at work, complete with all of my idiocyncracies and goofiness. One of my resident's tried to come up with an Axis II [Personality Disorder] diagnosis for me, and failed. I tell you, this is seriously the first time any one has ever diagnosed me as "normal." Me! Normal! Imagine that! The last time I ever felt like I was "normal" was in 3rd grade when I gained entry into the "Popular Group" at school [hah! the first and last time that ever happened!]

Maybe I've lost some of my awkward nerdiness and become cool. Naah. I think its just that I've found a home amongst similarly awkward and nerdy people. I think that's it. I'm among people who are just as weird, if not weirder, than I am -- so I come off looking like I'm normal.

Anway, I think I'm going to come up with a list of good and bad things about psychiatry. So far, I can think of only one significantly bad thing: you are tied to your patient population, which limits the extent that you can travel or take time-off. In that vein, you can't really do major humanitarian type-work as a Psychiatrist. I mean, I guess two years ago when the tsunami hit India, Sri Lanka, etc .. a lot of Psych M.D.s went over to deal with tramatic stress issues ... but I'm not sure how much they could really have done. I'm trying to say that its not a profession with skills that you can really travel with. [?]

Something I learned about Psychiatry this week that is good: Its really one of the few professions [M.D. wise] where you can really do clinical and research work at the same time ... and, importantly, do both of them well. In other professions, it becomes abundantly clear that one or the other responsibility gets shafted. In psych, its much easier to balance the two. And plus, your hours are pretty sweet.